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Will you ever feel happy again?

June 25, 2011

‎”Laughing faces do not mean that there is an absence of sorrow! But it means that they have the ability to deal with it.” ~ William Shakespeare

I remember when I first started being able to smile again, and then laugh again. Part of me felt like I was betraying Zoe. How could life go on without her? How could I feel happiness or joy again?

Learning to live around the pain, and acknowledging that there is still joy in the world, is part of the grieving process too. For me, it took months and months. Seeing others who were pregnant, or had new babies, was the worst. It took me years to get to the point of being able to happy for them. Even now, although I am genuinely happy for others, it will always be bittersweet. Another’s pregnancy will always remind me of the baby I lost.

Yet, something that helped was understanding that a happy face, or laughing at a joke, did not mean I was not still grieving or in pain. All it meant was that I was learning to live with my pain, learning to acknowledge that there was still beauty and joy somewhere in the world. It may not feel like it right now for you, in the stage you are in, but hold onto the hope that one day, it will. It will.

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