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Message boards

Message boards are online support forums where you can post messages and reply to the messages that others leave. Usually these boards also have the function that allows you to have private conversations (a bit like emails) with members of the community. You can join any or all boards, irrespective of which country you live in. However, be aware that any legal advice or hospital advice is specific to the country of origin.

USA:

1) Babyloss has a forum as well as a lot of other information you may find helpful. – You can view the message board without registering, but you won’t be able to post any messages.

2) Fertile Thoughts have two boards: Coping with Pregnancy Loss and Loss of an Infant/ Child, as well as a lot of other very useful parenting, pregnancy and infertility information. You can view the message board without registering, but you won’t be able to post any messages.

3) Daily Strength has a forum, but the site is a generalised support group site, so there aren’t very many members yet.

UK:

SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) – You cannot read messages posted on the forum unless you register. Registration is free.

South Africa:

The only “board” available is the ‘Wall’ on our Facebook group ‘Born Sleeping’.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Tina Spicer permalink
    August 24, 2010 4:30 pm

    Hi.

    I wonder if you can help me. My God-daughter in Natal has just had a stillborn baby and her mum has asked me if I can find someone who they can talk to who has had a similar experience and understands their pain.

    Yours is the only site I can find – do you have any contacts in Natal?

    I would be grateful for any information you can give me to pass on to my heartbroken friends.

    Kind regards,
    Tina

    • August 25, 2010 4:27 pm

      Hi there Tina, thanks for getting in touch with us. As far as we know, we are the only South African support group for parents of stillborn babies. We do have one of our members who is based in Durban, I will get in touch with her and ask her to make contact with you and through you, your god-daughter.

  2. suria permalink
    August 30, 2010 11:49 am

    Hi Tina

    Although i am up in Gauteng i just want you and god-daughter to know how sorry i am to hear from your lost recently.Myself lost a baby boy born sleeping.Its heartbreaking.

    She needs lots of support and it is grate that you are reaching out on her behalf.
    I hope she will find someone close to her to talk and share.
    She is welcome to contact me too if she feels like it.I’am on Facebook
    I think of you guys.
    Suria de beer

  3. Jacques permalink
    April 30, 2013 11:18 am

    Hi there hope you are all well,
    My dear friend has had a still born baby about a month ago and she is not coping.
    Apparently the hospital does not want to support her with some one to help her deal with this and would like to ask if any one knows of a place she can go in George.
    They are not financially strong so she cant pay to see some one any advice?

    Thanks

    • May 2, 2013 3:01 pm

      Hi Jacques – thanks for the comment and for the support you are being to your friend. We have a friend who has a baby born sleeping that lives in Sedgefield and works in Wilderness and who might be able to make contact. I will be in touch via email to let you have their details.

      Much Love

  4. March 31, 2014 4:58 pm

    Came across this whilst doing a google search, its so sad that we do not have such forums and support groups in South Africa. My daughter was born sleeping on 16 July 2013. My only support has come from online forums overseas. I wish there were actual support groups as it has not been easy and over eight months out, I still have trouble coping.

    • March 31, 2014 8:45 pm

      Hi. Sorry to hear that you’re still struggling so much, and that your only support is from overseas. We do offer support groups in SA – that’s in fact why we started up, because we also battled to find the support we needed in SA when we lost our baby. Please email us with your details (email to bornsleeping@gmail.com) and we’ll see who we can put you in touch with. Strength!

  5. Anli Meyer permalink
    September 6, 2015 8:17 pm

    My twin lost hwr baby yesterday at 22 and az0 g . He was stillborn. She’s talking of taking her life. She has three other kids, she doesn’t speak just stare. She spend 3 weeks in bedrest ans loads of water and antibiotics. I think she needs support from oher mothers who’s been through same ! She suffers from depression but this baby change her ! Please help. Anl

    • September 7, 2015 7:49 am

      Hi Anli. We’re so sorry to hear your news. Please email us and we can chat further about what support we can offer your sister. Bornsleeping(at)gmail.com.

  6. Thuli permalink
    September 11, 2016 8:57 pm

    Iv had a neo natal death,stillborn,miscarriage babies. Lord knows I can’t take it anymore. Its hard. Iv had so much of it all bottled but that I think one of these days I’m going to break down n Neva come back. A few days ago I got so angry and took out all my pain on my babies dad n realised he lost to. But he was an easier target. I can’t even sleep at night I either take sleeping tabs or allergax to fall asleep. Its just hard..

    • September 20, 2016 6:51 pm

      Hi Thuli. You have definitely had a raw time! Most of us are lucky enough only to have one of the three, but you’ve had all three. There is only so much heartbreak and devastation that we can take, and your reaction was totally normal – when we reach breaking point we often lash out at those around us we love. As you said – they’re an easy target. I would strongly encourage you to go and see a counsellor, or your GP, or both. We’re pleased you’ve found us (and please feel free to join our group on Facebook – BornSleepingZA), and we hope we can support you to some extent, but we’re just a community of parents who have walked a similar path. Many of us have, at some point, had to get some counselling and help. Don’t be afraid to take care of yourself and get the help you need. Hope we can chat some more over on Facebook.

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